Annie French's Airboat

for Poetry Thursday

Words change shape when they're passed around
so don't believe all the rumors afloat,
they don't resemble the facts on the ground
re Annie French's flame throwing airboat.

Annie and the boys are sitting out back
on a day that's slow, and the thinking is slower,
when they see on the Boat Works spare parts rack
an airplane propeller and a John Deere mower.

So they take a flatboat and a cutting torch,
and with gnashing, banging, and oily grime,
they join the airplane and mower parts,
and make an airboat of odd design.

Annie calls on her cousin Normal Billy
to showoff the airboat at Squabble Lake.
Billy rattles up with Packer Mike,
pulling a trailer with his old Toyot truck,

which was a Toyota before
a road grader scraped off the 'a'.
Annie looks askance at Mike's trailer,
the hitch bolt's a little loose and a lot rusty

and the safety chain's a clothesline rope.
Annie explains what's an airboat,
and how it works. Mike and Billy head out
and the first stop is Charlie's Tavern,

where Billy explains what's an airboat,
and how it works. After a pint for Annie's sake
they climb back into the old Toyot
and drive off, headed for Squabble Lake.

Billy is chuckling so Mike asks, "what's up?"
"Jake's girl, Molly, was by the door,"
says Billy, "when we left I pinched her butt,
and all the guys had a good laugh."

Now Jake is known to have a jealous
streak, and he doesn't get the joke,
so he and Uncle Jimmy climb
into Jake's big-wheel 4-by

with the manly-package and roar off
down the road on a malicious mission.
Mike checks the rearview and says,
"company's coming and they're not smiling."

Billy asks, "can't you make this rig
go any faster?" Mike says,
"the back of that boat is like a sail,
it's like going into a headwind."

Billy says, "wait here, I've got a plan,"
and climbs back through the hole
where the window used to hang,
then scrambles over the airboat's bow.

Billy fires up the mower, and stomps
the throttle. Mike hears propeller roar,
the steering goes wolly, and the old Toyot
speeds up past eighty-five. Billy looks back

with a grin and sees Uncle Jimmy
leaning out of the manly-package
with a double-barrel, Billy dives down
to the bottom of the boat and hears

a double load of bird shot ping
off everything above the gunwales.
Billy reaches back to hold down the throttle,
and looks around the bottom of the boat

to see what he has to work with:
three flares, a jar of pickles,
a can of gas, and a day-old fish.
Billy lights a flare and spikes it

into the mower seat, he pours the gas
on the upwind side, and the propeller
throws a glorious plume of orange flame back
down the road. Jake sees the glorious orange

and locks the brakes, he's near the speed limit
when the manly-package leaves the road
and drives a quarter-mile up Johnson Creek.
Uncle Jimmy says they would have gone farther

but the creek was high and they were against
the current. Billy keeps his head low,
his hand on the throttle, and keeps pouring gas.
As they pass Doug McKay's Truck Farm

Mike's girlfriend, Madeline, looks out
the kitchen window and her dad
looks up from the broccoli patch to see
a flame throwing airboat pushing

Mike's old Toyot over the hill and down
to Bickers City. Madeline and her dad
look to each other, one of those
long slow looks seeking harmony

in a disordered cosmos.
The roaring flame clears the farmer's market
on Main Street and Mike sees Squabble Lake
dead ahead. He lightly touches the brakes

and the wolly steering takes a hard left.
That's when the rusty bolt snaps,
the clothesline breaks, and the old Toyot
cuts donuts across the parking lot

and into Booger Marsh. Billy feels
the ride change and looks up,
where the old Toyot should be
the boat ramp passes under the bow.

The trailer stops dead in the water
and rips out the airboat's flooring,
the propeller and mower sizzle and sputter,
and sink to the bottom of Squabble Lake.

Packer Mike and Normal Billy
smile and wave from the old Toyot
on the road back to French's Boat Works
with a jar of pickles, and a day-old fish.

Words change shape when they're passed around
so don't believe all the rumors afloat,
they don't resemble the facts on the ground
re Annie French's flame throwing airboat.